right now I am...

feeling...
overwhelmed and under-stimulated.

enjoying...
whitecaps on the ocean.

wondering...
if I should sell the contents of my unpacked boxes.

listening...
to the sounds of an espresso machine and quite ebbs and flows of conversation.

drinking...
an almond latte.

wanting...
to move forward.

loving...
freedom to go places.

looking...
for a different place and time.

Thanks, Kris.

this is still my father's world

It's a very rainy day in Western Washington.

I was turned down for another job I had hopes of interviewing for.

A school near Port-au-Prince in Haiti collapsed during classes. The suburb of Petionville is where the orphanage I volunteered at this summer is located.

The unemployment rate in the United States is the worst since 1994.

But...

I had a great week with Sara (the Space Needle photo is from her living room).

My Honda Civic, now 6.5 year old (yikes!) still gets better than 34 miles per gallon!

I received an amazingly uplifting, well-timed, e-mail from a friend today.

I am going bazaar-hopping tomorrow with a group of girls; go figure.

There's always a great cup of coffee out there somewhere!

God is good.

sitting in seattle

This week I have been with my sister, Sara, in Seattle. There is a lovely view of the Space Needle from her new apartment and the ferry boats floating in and out of the city; when it's a clear day, that is.

Yesterday, I met up with Tia, a friend from Antarctica who drove shuttles with me my first season in McMurdo. We had a lovely walk through Volunteer Park and then sat at a coffee shop and caught up with each other. Tia makes amazing jewelry and has been finding great places to expand her business.

Strangely, we hardly talked about our time on Ice at all; mostly caught up on life since then and where we saw ourselves going in the next months. It was really good to meet with Tia in the "real world!"

Regardless of how you voted, this has been a turning point in history. It's been fascinating being in such a democratic venue (the city of Seattle) during this time when Obama won the election. At the coffee shop, they sold Obama cupcakes to commemorate the historical event. Of course, Tia and I had to have our little indulgence in history, so we each purchased one with our coffee! Aside from patriotism, they tasted as good as, or better than, they looked, too!

first autumn in three years

It occurred to me this week that I have not experience the season of autumn for three years. No wonder leaf collecting is such a novelty!

This morning, the relatives took a trip to the McPhail Farm in Lynden for a hayride to the pumpkin patch. The weather was cool (rather autumnal) and started out a bit cloudy, however, this neck of the woods is due for some lovely sunny skies in the weekend, and we saw some sun rays split the clouds before we left.

Our trip involved a short hayride to the pumpkin patch where we wandered about; searching for the perfect orange vegetable. I took some pumpkin pictures, watched the three boys trip, skip, and fall through the muddy vines and weeds, while honing in on the bigger and better looking orange pumpkins. Heading back to the farm buildings, we fed some animals, had some fantastic apple cider, and eventually got chased off the property by some late-season bees.

After lunch and some pumpkin carving (of course), I was able to meet up with Angie, Jessica, and Lucy at the Re-Store. There are plenty of interesting and unique, sometimes old pieces of home improvement projects there. I definitely saw some creative potential with some door handles and a couple of cupboard doors.

The four of us also indulged in a bit of coffee at Espresso Avellinos which is a lovely, quaint spot downtown Bellingham with a quite tasty amaretto latte!

What a great crisp autumn Saturday to spend with family and friends!

northwesty

I felt particularly northwesterly today. I tromped outside in between rain showers this morning in my Keen sandals. I also donned my new brown capris and long sleeve red wool shirt. My necklace is a new eco-friendly Brazilian piece of art made out of seeds. Although, sunny for a spot of time, the temperatures have certainly cooled to autumn and the color of the trees are matching the season.

The day was a gathering sort of day. I needed to gather some new ideas to keep me busy for the next week, or two, and I needed to pick up a few groceries and such. So, my first stop was the ultra-earthy Bellingham Farmer's Market. I didn't gather much there except a very tasty marionberry scone and a few creative ideas along with a few environmental tips (ie. carpool, turn down your heat 1-2 degrees this winter, turn off your lights, buy a reusable shopping bag, etc.). I also stopped at several craft stores and came up with some gift ideas for this winter to experiment with. If they turn out, perhaps I'll post them here. Around noon the wind picked up and blew leaves down the street, and although it remained sunny, there was a very fine mist in the air, blowing from the dark clouds up ahead.

I stopped in to see a friend at Starbucks, because there is nothing more northwesty to do than visit Starbucks. While I'd already had enough french pressed coffee to keep me sprite and afloat for the day, it was nice to catch up with her for a few minutes.

The day was also gathering for a good storm. It rained a bit last night, but looking a the weather radar, it was apparent that a good amount of wet weather was headed this direction. And, by the time I got back in the car from my last stop, the flood gates had opened. This is a bit more than a drizzler, folks; the wind has picked up and the raindrops are large. Looks like a good afternoon to make homemade hot chocolate and dig into my new projects! Thank goodness Hersey's came out with a new European dark cocoa powder. My made-from-scratch drinking chocolate has never tasted so good!

This might not let up until next April, so I'm glad I caught the sun this morning while it was out!

some thoughts

I never did find my Brazilian coffee beans to bring back; it seems that they ship most of their premium crops out of the country (it's a huge export), and while the coffee shops do a good job serving their cafe, it's difficult to find the whole beans. I came back with far fewer souvenirs for my family and friends than I had intended and I never got the sticker for my water bottle. I did, however have a fantastic trip to reclaim some of my independence, and find some brand new amazing stories to tell. I learned to speak my language much more clearly and slowly, and to travel respectfully in someone else's land.

I also took home a very important understanding of prayer. I prayed for a lot of little, and sometimes inconsequential things while I was there. Some were for safety, some for finding a hotel room, some for getting tickets, or arriving on time, or finding my way somewhere, or communicating with someone, or being able to find a cash machine, or internet access. The list of little prayers whispered up to God goes on and on.

In each of these prayers God answered me. He provided every step of the way. He allowed me to find an adventure around nearly every corner. Sometimes he answered them right away and sometimes he let me sweat it out. Still other times he rerouted my plans and made my experience much more meaningful.

I feel like part of the reason I went on this trip was so that I could apply these little traveling mercies to my bigger journey of finding a new place and job. He certainly hasn't answered my prayers immediately and has me anxious and downright frustrated at times. But, he is still there. He's got something planned, and it will be by God's grace that I find a job when his timing is right.

I pulled out some old cards and letters today and found a brilliant card from my friend, Erin. The first year I went to Antarctica, she sent me this great expression of what I had done with my life. I went from a structured and organized life in the Chicago area to a new colorful adventure in Antarctica (and beyond). I pulled it out at exactly the right time; it was a super reminder that I have been able to color my life with a wealth of experiences in places and with people I never would have encountered had I stayed in Illinois. It makes this time of waiting in life much more palatable. I would not change the way anything has come to pass.

soggy and sunny sunday

This morning I woke up to pouring rain. This was unfortunate as I was looking forward to going to a futbol game. It turns out the game was quite a ways away and it would have been an entire day's project to go.

Instead, I slept in, had a late breakfast and cleaned up a bit. In the afternoon, the sun came out and I met up with Shaun for a few minutes. On Sunday's people set up shop to sell antiques and crafts on the streets and under the art museum (the picture does not represent how large this gathering is).

I roamed through a few places on the way back, had some dark espresso coffee and a frango (chicken) empanada. The coffee was so strong it was almost sweet. And, I found a grocer to pick up a few items as well.

Some things I hear from my room: car horns, traffic, sirens, alarms, dogs, roosters, laughing, yelling, bangs (I hope those are fireworks), airplanes, cheering, whistling.

a birthday party

Saturday evening was the big birthday party for Shaun's girlfriend, Gabi. They had been planning and brainstorming about this for awhile and very excited to host the event. They both spent a lot of time making a massive four layered cake which tasted wonderful.

To get there, I took the Metra and caught a cab. This was the first place where my guide book has gone wrong. It recommended tipping the taxi driver; when in fact, it's not necessary and he rejected my offer. I won't complain. And, now I am feeling more comfortable with the transportation systems in place here.

The party was at a place called the Ekoa Cafe. This place just opened about three weeks ago and is getting great reviews in a few Sao Paulo newspapers. The Ekoa was built around environmentally sustainable concepts, so even the light fixtures (pictured here) have been made from reused materials. In this case, some old coffee filters. Gabi works in sustainables and environmental projects, so it was the perfect place for her to host her party; and the atmosphere at Ekoa Cafe is warm, inviting, cozy, and comfortable.

Most of Gabi's friends speak English. I have rarely been in a room full of people from so many places and who, collaboratively, have traveled to nearly every end of the world. Many of these people have worked as part of an international student internship program. It's great to see so many people here and they have all challenged themselves by being here and learned Portuguese as part of the process.

There were a couple of "firsts" for me at this party. The first was chimarrao (definitely follow this link for a better explanation); also known as mate. I have seen and heard of it before, but this was the first time I tried this beverage. When I arrived, we were a small circle of people gathered. When one person finishes their drink, they fill the gourd with hot water and pass it along to the next person. This warm beverage tastes like tea. The bomba (straw) draws from the bottom of the cup where the water has filtered through.

This, of course, was my first Brazilian birthday party, and my first opportunity to meet a group of people here. I met a lot of interesting people and heard many unique and interesting stories from all sorts of folks.

After the cafe closed, we went to a pub down the street. The area we were in, Vila Madalena, is known for it's nightlife, so we found a place where the 10 of us who remained to sit around a table together. Most folks got beers, but I was encouraged to try caipirinha (another "first" for me); a uniquely Brazilian drink. I was not disappointed. I ordered the traditional caipirinha with limes, sugar, and cachaca (Brazilian liquor from distilled from sugarcane). Fernanda was enjoying one made with strawberries. It was great and one was enough!

I was a bit worried about traveling back to the hotel by myself, and so relieved when a couple at the party said they would drive myself and two other girls back to our part of town. I don't mind having the transportation figured out for me; rather than negotiating times and taxis. We ended up being dropped off around 1:45am; quite the night of socializing!

a saturday morning out

It is Saturday and after another delicious breakfast, I walked outside in hopes of finding Casa das Rosa; an old house in the middle of the big city. I left this morning confirming the pronounciation of the phrase "Nao falo portugues" (I don't speak Portuguese) with the front desk of the hotel. It instantly became useful when a woman tried to ask me direction (again, feeling good that I'm "blending in" as a Brazilian).

I could walk up and down Avenida Paulista every day and see a dozen new things, I think. I could have taken the Metra to the old house I wanted to visit, but, instead figured the walk would be good for me.

I have continued to be impressed by the occasionally impromptu and sometimes city-sponsored displays of art. Shaun instructed me to keep an eye out for it. I couldn't figure out if this man was supporting a smoking ban, or hoping the government would reverse some restrictions, but he was excited when I got my camera out. Perhaps I was supposed to pay him for the photo-op, but "Nao falo portugues."

I walked right by the Casa das Rosa because it was not labeled as such. But, this meant I found something else that put a smile on my face. My green logo sensitive eye caught a glimpse of the siren on a Starbucks sign. And, they even had a "Brazil" Starbucks mug! I have my Brazilian souvenier! I took a few pictures; which apparently I was not allowed to do, but the manager spoke English and since I told him I had worked at Starbucks, he let me off the hook. So, I won't post pictures of the store, just of their table-pieces which I thought were creative!

Since I found an English-speaker, two actually (Paulo and Iza), I had them give me directions to the house I was looking for. I took a quick browse around. The Casa das Rosa, according to the guidebook, is "a French-style mansion with gardens ...built in 1935...one of the avenue's few remaining early-20th century buildings." I was most impressed by the number of bathrooms in the house.

I had to post the staircase photo since about 20 people went out of their way to clear the stairway while I sat my camera on the ground and pointed it in the direction of the stained glass. Again, folks are very friendly here!

This afternoon the rain came. I spent the time inside; catching up on this blog. I will have to brave the raindrops and find an umbrella vendor to make my way out to a birthday party for Shaun's girlfriend, Gabi.

the weekly hope-to-do list

one. get an interview somewhere.

two. find three more jobs to apply for.

three. get my passport back in my hands.

four. laundry and pack.

five. fly to a foreign country.

six. go to a birthday party for someone who I've never met.

seven. walk a lot.

eight. drink amazing coffee from the world's best roasters.

nine. visit the beach.

ten. take lots of pictures.

friday feels good

What a gorgeous day today! A lot of locals have been complaining about the near-90F temperatures, but folks need to appreciate the sun when they get it out here!

My Ice friend, J, stopped in with one of his Trek America tour groups this morning. They were on the Alaska Ferry that docked in Bellingham. We had a cup of coffee together before they scooted off down I-5 to Seattle. I nearly mistook the guy for an Alaskan Kodiak bear with all the facial hair he's sporting these days! Despite the grizzly appearance, and that he took a "toe shot" way up north in Dawson, Yukon (you can google it, but you probably don't want to), everyone should be so fortunate to have a friend like J.

On my way back, I dropped in at Boulevard Park on Bellingham Bay. There is a coffee shop here that may replace the one I found in Fairhaven a couple days ago because it has a fantastic view over the water and free wi-fi, too! I have a lot of things I could accomplish indoors, but this morning was for spending time outside on a lovely morning, reading and journaling, and listening to the conversations around me; some of which are listed below:

.Finances, taxes, and IRA's
.Airports and island building in Dubai and The Maldives.
.The poor choice of deck chairs at the coffee shop.
.Construction on The Guide Road and how many lanes the new bridge over the Nooksack river will have.
.The road construction project lead to conversations about the Vancouver 2010 Olympics.
.The inappropriateness of a burning fireplace on the deck of the coffee shop on such a warm day.
.This passed year's Valentine's Day surprise.
.The noise levels of bagpipes at a wedding.

And no one thought I was listening.

So, today I sat and breathed in God's creative work around me; the people talking, the green, fresh-cut grass and greener seaweed, the yellow flowers growing between the rocks, the water, islands and boats of every shape and size, friends, celebrations (like Laura's birthday), coffee, warm and clear weather, peace and joy, and fresh sea salty air. Ah.

reflecting and redirecting

I mentioned awhile ago that I am in a good place in life right now. For being a planner, I have given up on my own life; at least for the time being.

Plans. Out the window.

That frees me up to spend more time focusing on other important parts of life. Mostly, to focus on my faith and the people around me who never cease to show their care and love; no matter how recently or long ago I last saw them. This week has been a concerted effort to catch up on birthday cards.

Yesterday I spent an evening out with my friend, Michelle, from elementary school. I love how we can still talk about life as good friends together. We had a great time talking about our lives over the past year together and the changes that were happening for each of us.

Prior to meeting her for dinner I spent a lazy and long afternoon in the Fairhaven district of Bellingham. I label this area as a restored eclectic, eccentric, relic of what once was. Old buildings bring character to the area and a fascinating mix of people add an abundance of diversity. The gorgeous weather recently made wandering through shops and the farmers market all the more marvelous.

I found myself there after the mundane task of adding some air pressure to my tires to get out of the house and find some new space. I found a lovely little coffee spot; maybe even two of them, to visit on occasion. I let my thoughts run wild while journaling over a coconut mocha and a nanaimo bar (not entirely healthy, but otherwise pretty tasty, and if you haven't ever had one, put that on your own life's 'to-do' list; but not at this coffee shop because it wasn't the best one I've had).

This place in life right now feels surreal. On one hand, I am so alive; a willing and active participant in a colorful and vibrant world. On the other hand, as I sit and watch the earth move, I feel like I am viewing everything move in double time while I, personally, remain on pause. It's good to slow down. Perhaps this is what I was meant to find this whole time "off" I have been given.

I recommend a book that has helped me appreciate the scope of God's love called The Shack. It's a novel, (controversial and downright frustrating among some who read it on a theological level), that brings a broken and sad man to God, in the form of an odd trinity of people (just keep in mind, the author wrote it as a novel and not to replace the truth of the Bible). It helped me realize that God is not keeping me from any particular job; in fact, he's got a door flung wide open to the place and position he wants me to be. While it is still disappointing to receive a negative response from someone regarding an interview or opportunity I looked forward to, I visualize myself leaving the threshold of that particular room and being pushed further down the hallway to something better; the place God has set aside for me to serve and glorify him.

northern exposure

On Wednesday morning, the three of us (Kirrin, Jeremy, and myself) woke up slow, made breakfast, washed dishes, packed up, and headed out of Seattle for Bellingham. I had a few options of things to see with these friends.

Our first stop was at the Mukilteo Ferry dock. We arrived about 20 minutes before we had to drive onto the boat and enjoyed another cup of Ivar's Clam Chowder while we waited in the car and watched the police dogs sniff wheel wells for drugs or explosives or both. This ferry heads across Puget Sound to the south end of Whidbey Island.

Our first stop was in Langley; a much more quaint and whimsical town than I remembered from our junior high volleyball games. My friend, Brandi, had taken pictures of a coffee shop she visited there, so I was determined to find it as well. We each had a latte at the Useless Bay Coffee Company. Brandi's photos turned out better than mine!

The next stop was Fort Casey. Our school hosted retreats and outings at this State Park. The fort was built during World War II with two other strongholds in the Washington area. During the Cold War it became an evacuation shelter. The cement tunnels and rooms are quite dank and spooky to think about living in, but rather interesting to climb and poke around in. Kids run around this place screaming in the echoing corridors and chasing each other for a game of capture the flag. We also saw a doe and her two fawns nibbling on leaves as we snacked on nectarines in the car here.

Our last stop on Whidbey Island was Deception Pass. The northe end of the island is connected to Fidalgo Island by this bridge and Fidalgo Island is connected by another bridge to the mainland. You can hardly drive this stretch of road while visiting Washington and not stop at the Deception Pass bridge. We took a half mile walk down to the beach to look back up at the bridge, take some photos on the driftwood and look at the pebbles on the shore before heading back up and out toward Bellingham where we all stayed with Uncle Jerry and Aunt Faye for the night.

seeing seattle

My primary reason for returning to Washington at the particular time I chose was to see my friends, Kirrin and Jeremy, who are visiting North America for about six weeks on their around-the-world journey lasting six months. I met Kirrin and Jeremy in (or on the way to) Antarctica the first year I deployed. After returning to New Zealand, they eventually started dating and were married last December. The two have always been great company to enjoy conversation with over a good glass of wine. Kirrin and Jeremy have been such hospitable hosts each year in Auckland, New Zealand, that I am more-than-happy to show them around the little piece of Creation that I call home.

They drove up from Las Vegas to Seattle on Sunday and on Tuesday, I drove down to Seattle to meet them and then spend some time with our mutual Antarctic friends, Dave and Chelsea.

I arranged to meet them at the original Starbucks for some coffee, but they found me first; I walked right by them! After our coffee stop, we took in Pike Place Market and watch the surly fish-flingers throw seafood over the counter. The market is a colorful and lively place to visit; lots of flowers, produce, seafood, curiosities, and people!

For lunch, I took them to the famous Ivar's Seafood restaurant on the water. While spooning the delicious clam chowder in our hungry bellies, we watched a couple ferries move in and out of the pier while planning the rest of the afternoon. In true, Washington style, the skies opened up with some spatters of rain (unusual for this time of year). In the end, we headed back to Dave and Chelsea's house.

Jeremy, with Kirrin's help, made supper for us; a fantastic salmon lasagna with a delicious homemade cheese sauce. The five us did a bit of reminiscing over a bottle of wine, we caught up on our lives over the past months, and some participated in a bit of new memory-making.

I am pretty well-convinced that Jeremy and Kirrin will fit in wherever they find themselves in the world!

last day

Today is my last day in Colorado. Tomorrow I will get on a flight back to the Pacific Northwest; first to Portland, then Seattle, and finally Bellingham, Washington. The spring and summer have been really rewarding in terms of seeing a few places in North America and the spectacular trip to Haiti. Spending time with friends and family is something everyone should be fortunate enough to do; especially when they are spread out all over the place.

Last night I spent the evening with a roommate, Ana Bell, from my first season in Antarctica. Of the four of us roommates, we felt the most "normal" and compatible in our room and I appreciated her excitement for getting me on the ground and familiar with dorm life on The Ice. She knew Laura from the season previous, and she worked in housing so could hook us up with great stuff for our room, too! Ana Bell wrote me postcards for my second season down there; with the personal understanding of how great it is to receive mail. Last night we had her homemade ceviche (which was excellent) for supper and great conversation! Since I forgot to pull out my camera, this photo is of Laura and Ana Bell from our 70's party at McMurdo Station the first year I went down.

This morning, I met with one of my Colorado business contacts to catch up on the summer and career search with him. I stayed at the coffee shop for a few more minutes to also catch up with my college friend, Megan. We were on the track and field team together and have kept in touch since. Megan was our fantastic and fabulous 400 meter runner; she ran with grace and quite a bit of speed! I had a lovely time seeing her again while she is visiting the state. She and her husband, Matt, are expecting their first child, a girl this year!

The morning has been pretty busy. Now I am up for a short job search followed by packing up my bags from the last three months with Laura!

nine good things

This week has been challenging for me, so I decided to post a list of the good things that I have:

one. I have had three good contacts for income-generating work.

two. The sun is out; although it's hot.

three. I can still afford a latte once or twice a week.

four. I am healthy.

five. I have encouragers out there.

six. My cell phone was replace for well-under my $50 limit and I didn't have to sign a new contract to get it.

seven. Due to the delay of my Miami to Denver flight (which was actually to my benefit, since my flight from Port au Prince was delayed and I wouldn't have made it if they hadn't sat on the ground for two hours), American Airlines rewarded me with 3000 extra frequent flier miles.

eight. I have a great sister who has put up with me this summer in her apartment.

nine. I had dinner with my Uncle Denny and Aunt Marilyn who were rolling through town tonight from Kalamazoo, Michigan; and it was very tasty!

a good morning coffee

I did something a bit unusual this morning: I went out for coffee (that wasn't the unusual part). I went out to coffee with my friend, Molly, from way-back; like junior high era!

There is something so great about seeing someone who I was once friends with who is all grown up. We talked about some old crushes, some past drama, exchanged stories on people we both once knew. We talked about where we had been and what we have studied, who we've become friends with and what our careers look like. We exchanged hopes, and feelings, and life expectations.

When it comes right down to it, the last 17 years have put us both in similar situations. We're both single, Christian, women, trying to do our best at finding a place for ourselves geographically on a map, and relationally to other people.

I'm so glad the opportunity came along to meet up again. And, I hope we have another chance to spend a little time with each other again before we move along again.

ten thoughts

In my friend, Emily's, honor, here are ten thoughts currently running through my head:

one.
Why, when I'm working do I want to be not working, and when I'm not working I want to work? I wish I had a place.

two.
Coffee and chocolate sure do make me a little happier.

three.
My sister gave me a stuffed anteater with a really long red ribbon for a tongue as a gift once. That was a really thoughtful present!

four.
As cramped a lifestyle as I had in Antarctica, I sure do miss having someone around to talk to whenever I want. I resent how much S*print charges me to make a call those "someones" across the border.

five.
I'm glad I redesigned my blog again. A fresh start. I hope my blog audience comes back after my break.

six.
I do not like the North American news media because they are seven months premature reporting on an election. They are also the third party in any war or disagreement and rarely a positive advocate of modern-day society.

seven.
I feel great and healthy again.

eight.
I love my parents for giving me such a great childhood, and for having a nice home to crash in when I have nothing to do for awhile; even though I'm a little sad and not altogether comfortable with my "limbo-ness" in life right now.

nine.
I've been working on some intricate little creative projects lately. It's worth a thought that we have been created with some much more intricate designs and intentions that are humanly comprehensible.

ten.
What's around the corner? Where am I going and what am I going to be doing?