moving along

This week I have decided to put some priorities on paper, list out some goals, write down my 'options' for the near future, and such. So, here are a few things that I am looking forward to when I find that new job:

one. Sinking into a new community.

two. Finding new friends.

three. Unpacking my boxes.

four. Generating a sustainable income.

five. Experiencing self-worth through work again.

six. Being independently me.

seven. Reciprocating hospitality given to me.

eight. Indulging in the purchase of a queen-sized bed.

nine. Reflecting on all the amazing places I went and people I saw during my time "off."

ten. Spreading the news to people who care about me.

I'll expect about seven of the items; and hope for all 10!

people against waxing apples

I made caramel apples today. My sister, Laura, put them together with her friend, Bri, last week and she ate one for me in honor of my birthday. But, I just got a hankering to make my own, so I had mom send the recipe this morning, picked up the ingredients on my way back from the coffee shop this afternoon, and whipped up a batch.

The caramel tastes fantastic. After coating the apples, I made a big goober of the leftover caramel on the waxed paper for "later" (ie. as soon as I post this blog).

Unfortunately, this was not my finest batch of the candied apples. My mistake may have been not letting the caramel cool enough before putting it on the fruit, but I believe more of my problem came due to the wax on the granny smiths. I'm quite sure that the caramel melted the wax and forced my candy coating to slide off the apple.

The flavors are all there; they just don't appear to be as beautifully coated as they should; all because people would rather buy a bright, shiny green waxed apple rather than a dull one. Such is life.

pick me, pick me

By the numbers:

This morning I woke up to the wonderfully dismal news that the unemployment numbers have remained the same in the United States this month, but there are 156,000 fewer jobs out there. Strangely enough, I have found more positions to apply for this week than any other so far. From now on I've decided that for every one I apply for, I'm going to yell, "pick me, pick me" at the computer screen as the application is submitted. I'm sure that will work!

I've been searching for work for more than SIX months. I've applied for something like 142 jobs (give an extra one, or five, that I forgot to document). This week I had 17 contacts (e-mails exchanged, or jobs applied for) in FOUR countries. TWO companies had contacted me this week about potential interviews for THREE different positions, but I'm still in limbo or not expecting to hear back on those. I still have ONE head and it still appears to be attached to my shoulders, but sometimes I feel like it's rolled off so no one can see that I have a useful brain.

Cynicism aside, the process is getting quite long and drawn out. I awkwardly fluctuate between freedom and peace about it all, and then swing to frustrated hopelessness. If you have time for a phone call (preferably after 7pm Pacific time or weekends--so I can save my minutes for phone interviews), or to drop me an e-mail, it is usually the best part of my day! Thanks to those folks who have extended a line recently, or made time for a walk, or lunch!

strange observations

Today I met a woman on the sidewalk who looked like a Christmas ornament on a 78F degree day in September. She had kelly green velvet spandex tights on bottom and a just-a-bit-too-short white shirt with little red and green designs on top. I smiled, said 'hello,' and kept walking.

Politically speaking, I have a lot of observations, but I decided not to post them here because I have a strong distaste for the political (muckraking) system as a whole.

Another realization today was that, while I can rather easily put my hope and trust in God to find me a place and job and plan, I have been turned down and put out so many times that I am expecting disappointment. I am anticipating his 'no, this isn't good for you right now' to every job I apply for, or prayer I send up.

Similarly, now that I've been unemployed for well over six months, I am observing that I have a new life experience to share with a group of people who I never cared to be a part of. I never completely understood how people who had been laid off, or found themselves out of work could struggle for so long without finding anything; and now I am that person. I expect that other folks think the same about me: What's taking her so long? I can assure you, it's not me; it's them (employers). I still do not entirely understand how or why it can take so long to find a job, but I do know there is no other option but to keep looking and trust God. I wish I were on the other side of this; already in my different place and time.

Today, at the coffee shop I observed: that the rich with boats and cottages complain about money, those with jobs express their dissatisfaction about work, those who have chosen to be involved with several groups and organizations complain that they cannot enjoy a spare moment of time (despite the fact that they are chatting at a coffee shop with a friend), and those who have fully functioning bodies complain about their noses or eyebrows or bellies or thighs. Basically, those who have been blessed seem to find (almost want to find) something to whine about amongst their blessings. So, I chose to "be still" today, realize God's goodness, and enjoy my "time off." I should do that more often; so should you.

spectacular city

On Thursday, I spent the day in Vancouver, British Columbia. In the late morning I had an interview and I scheduled some time to see friends in the afternoon and evening. I had a gap in my schedule an decided to pay for parking all day downtown so I could take off on a walk on the sea wall and into Stanley Park.

Vancouver has a great ambiance about it. I liken it to Sydney, Australia, and these two cities are the only I would consider living in downtown. The area is scenic (especially on sunny days), the buildings have plenty of windows, there is a good amount of green space in parks and gardens between buildings (even trees on top of buildings), and the population is diverse and friendly.

By noon, I was set free on the streets. I changed into some more casual clothes, slapped on the sunscreen, and grabbed a couple of snacks from my car to explore the seawall and city. It was just over a year ago that I toured this part of the city last. Since the 2010 Winter Olympics are due into town, there are plenty of building and road projects in progress.

My walk took me along the seawall on Coal Harbor, and I walked through Stanley Park until I had blisters between my toes from my flip flops. The phenomenal weather contributed to a number of people being outside; nearly everyone enjoying the sunshine and fair temperatures!

Stanley Park has a number of attractive attributes. My goal was to get to the Totem Poles. I snapped a few photos here. The first I like because the totem poles blend in with the trees they were carved from. The second is a more contemporary piece.

I wish I had more time to explore the park and the new additions to the city for the upcoming Olympics, but I had other exciting obligations for the afternoon (more on that in the next post). I walked back toward my car and made sure I had a bubble tea; a special treat for a great day!

my labor day labour

This morning I went out, determined to find the rest of the blackberries I needed to make blackberry jam. It did not have to walk too far; instead, I tramped through the vines and held a few stickery branches back to reveal a number of ripe berries. Regardless of my efforts not to get scratched and poked, my arm has a number of minor abrasions right now.

In any case, within 20 minutes, I had my container full and headed back inside to sieve the seeds out. Aunt Faye left me with instructions on the jam-making process, so while I strained the seeds from the pulp and juice, I ran through the recipe a couple times to remind myself of the steps. Making jam is a remarkably easy process; you just have to keep an eye on the pot.

After finally achieving five cups of juice and pulp, I could heat it up, add the sugar and pectin and finally get the jam in jars. There is an immense sense of accomplishment (for me) in seeing this process complete from start to finish. I remember making candles in 1st or 2nd grade by dipping our wick into wax over and over again and thinking the project would have been more fun if we could have procured our own wax from beehives! Being able to pick my own berries and mash them up and create something tasty that will last for awhile was rewarding in its' own domestic way.

And, of course, I had to sample some of my wares. I scraped some of the already-congealed jam out of the bottom of the pan and put it on toast. Yum! I have to say, this is a project I could definitely repeat every now and then! Perhaps next time I'll branch out and try a different fruit. Stay tuned.

my to-do list

I have come up with a list of tasks, in one word, that I assigned myself to accomplish each day. In lieu of having little else to do right now, it keeps my mind occupied to focus on these few words and the things they represent for me. It seems simple, but I usually have a hard time fitting them all in:

one. read

two. exercise

three. learn

four. look

five. listen

by the numbers on a busy morning

This morning I had 1 phone interview for 51 minutes for 2 positions. I have sent and received 14 job-related e-mails in just 4 hours. It seems like my resume has been in the job market long enough to finally start receiving some attention.

Of the 66 jobs I've applied for (an average of about 6 applications per week), I still show about 29 open on their respective websites. I have found 3 new companies last week to begin applying with. I am 108 pages into the book, 48 Days to the Work You Love, by Don Miller. This book has helped me determine some goals and gifts that I have, and is leading me to the 3rd major rewrite of the resume this year to capitalize on those goals and gifts. Hopefully it won't take me 7 weeks to find a job from when I started reading!

I feel like I have a full time position job searching; now, if only I could get paid a full time salary!

my wonder years moment

The last half mile of my new jogging route is uphill in the sun; either way I run the loop. Even if I run slowly, it's a good challenge for me.

Today, as I headed into that last stretch home, I met a man. He was about 5 feet tall, slightly hunched over and walking on much less sturdy legs than mine. He had socks pulled up to his knees; nearly meeting his shorts and those big dark sunglasses over his regular prescription. He looked to be over 85 years old.

As I ran by, I smiled and said "hi." He smiled, lifted his hand in a wave, and replied, "You're doing great!" I offered a thanks, but felt like saying "You, Too!" And (here's the Wonder Years* moment), then I realized, everybody needs encouragement.

Some people need very little positive input, some people need it all the time. Some people need words, other people need hugs, and still others are happy with an affirmative smile. We are all working through life. Sometimes it is a hard life, some time we skate through parts of it. If this man is any indication, I have at least 55 years to get to his place in life, and he's still moving forward!

I like to label myself as independent and self-motivated, but when it comes right down to it, I need a lot of encouragement right now, in my third month of job seeking. I don't want people to ask how I'm managing, or what I've accomplished every day, or if I have any good leads, or what I intend to do next. Instead, in my friend, Emily's, words, I just want people to "hope" for me.

*Incidentally, I never cared much for the 1980's television show.

an uneventful week

It has been a slow week for the job-seeker. There has been very few new positions posted and I wonder if it's because we're in the last month of the second quarter of the year. Instead of putting out a lot of new applications, I've been cleaning out my Excel file listing my progress. It's a very organized and color coded file identifying what positions are open and what companies I have expressed interest in.

From my records, I show I've applied for over 65 positions in the last couple months and as far as I can tell, about 30 of those are still open. I'm pretty confident about the positions I've applied for, and hope that of those open jobs, I'll be the candidate for one of them.

I've had a lot of recommendations from people for various career sources to check out. And, while I feel overwhelmed by the number of places to go, your suggestions would still be appreciated!

I was also reminded that as much as I want a new job and watch my bank account slowly lose funds, I won't be very useful unless it's the "different place and time" that God wants me to be in. I have my ideas of where I'd like to go and how I'd like to serve a company, but when I make plans, they always seem to break down for something different. I'm trying to exercise a healthy amount of patience; which is usually easier said than done. However, when I consider that God's got it figured out, I find I am much happier with the "time being."